on June 12, 2013in Relationshipstags: blame, blaming my husband, blaming my wife, communication, Eckhart Tolle, ego, egoity, emotional, emotions, feelings, getting angry, happy, how to stop blaming, listen, Live in the now, reacting, relationships, responsibility, stop reacting, The Power Of Now, unhappiness
How to take responsibility for your feelings and emotions.
“He Makes Me So Angry!”
Usually when we talk to our significant other or partner or to another person, we say things like
“You make me feel so angry”
“You hurt me”
“You destroyed my life”
“Because you did [blank] now my life is ruined”
“You don’t ever make me happy…”
Why We Blame Others For Our Unhappiness
By doing this, what we’re doing is blaming the other person for our unhappiness. It is so important to realize the power of those words! Instead of wanting to blame someone else for our unhappiness, we need to make a decision that we’re willing to take responsibility for our emotions. We can call our own unhappiness “the ego.”
What Is The Ego/Egoity?
Our egoity can be thought of as the constant unhappiness, “self-contraction,” and self-centeredness that we are constantly playing out throughout our lives. You will see it in your own mind and reflected in your relationships with everyone around you. The key thing to realize is that the ego is an activity- it is something you are doing.
Once we feel this unhappiness, seperation, and heart-contraction, we are constantly looking to see if we are loved. And no matter what anyone does, it simply proves to us that they don’t love us! And suddenly you see yourself generating these “You make me feel _______” phrases.
The reality is that they didn’t make you feel anything! The negative reactive emotions are being created within yourself.
Take Responsibility For How You Feel
Be willing to take responsibility for how you feel- for all of your emotions. And when you feel reactive, angry or hurt, and you see yourself turning away from your loved one, change the conversation in your head. Think to yourself, “I am feeling this way because I am feeling this way. No one can make me feel this way. No one can create this in me. This is something that I am doing.”
Then what?
Then it becomes time to turn your mind, emotions, body and breath to Divine Love and the Eternal Divine of the Moment. In doing that, you can “be always only sudden love in every act of life.“
With great love,
Dr. Moses
